At the Bridge

Subject: At the Bridge Fri Sep 25, 2009 7:54 am

Which evil character (groggle, ninn, Lord Sparr) would you like to be and why?
Use and underline 10 words from your vocabulary list from chapter 4.

Name	Written	Do Again	Do Again	FINISH
Luke	ㅁ	X	X	Very Good
Hyeon-Jin	ㅁ	ㅁ	X	X
Andy	X	X	X	X
Sang-Jun	X	X	X	X
Name	X	X	X	X
Name	X	X	X	X
Name	X	X	X	X
Name	X	X	X	X
Name	X	X	X	X
Name	X	X	X	X
Name	X	X	X	X

Posts : 23 Join date : 2009-09-28

I want to be lord sparr. because to conquer droon. And he is not puffy. He can flash his eye's. Lord sparr has a yello car bubble on top. His car sound screeches also. He has his own path. And he is a wizard. he don't have to hurry. He can shout at the ninn's. when is angry he frown's and snarl's. and he can scour thing.And no can stop him. He dosen'thave to work and definitley couquer droon. And he is not narrow.

Posts : 22 Join date : 2009-09-28

I want to be Lord Sparr.Because I can Definitely conquer all droon place and be famous.I can get all three powers. I can dash to my hideout when I am playing hide-and-seek and roll over the path.I can ride the car loudly all day.SCRRECH!I will never snarl or frown.I will take over the upperworld.All the ninn's will hoist me and give a boost at me because they are happy.I can make a narrow path, ether!I will peek at the ninn's when they are bored.I'm FREE!

Subject: Feedback for Hyeon-Jin Thu Oct 22, 2009 10:24 am

Hyeon-Jin wrote:: I want to be lord sparr. because to conquer droon. And he is not puffy. He can flash his eye's. Lord sparr has a yello car bubble on top. His car sound screeches also. He has his own path. And he is a wizard. he don't have to hurry. He can shout at the ninn's. when is angry he frown's and snarl's. and he can scour thing.And no can stop him. He dosen'thave to work and definitley couquer droon. And he is not narrow.

Hi Hyeon-Jin.

It is good to see that you have chosen Lord Sparr as your vilain. Why would you want to be Lord Sparr? I have difficulty seeing why you would want to be Lord Sparr. Write your answer again, and tell me why YOU want to be Lord Sparr.

For example:
I want to be Lord Sparr because he wants to conquer Droon, and I would like to be the boss of Droon. ...

Write your answer in a new post.

Subject: Feedback for Luke Thu Oct 22, 2009 11:23 am

Luke1502 wrote:: I want to be Lord Sparr.[1]Because I can Definitely conquer all droon place and be famous.I can get all three powers. I can dash to my hideout when I am playing hide-and-seek and [2] roll over the path.I can ride the car loudly all day.SCRRECH!I will never snarl or frown.I will take over the upperworld.All the ninn's will hoist me and[3] give a boost at me because they are happy.[4/5]I can make a narrow path, ether!I will peek at the ninn's when they are bored.I'm FREE!

Hi Luke.

I like your answer. You tell me who you want to be, and give me good reasons for wanting to be that person. Excellent! Now let's look at fixing a few problems to make your answer stronger.

Look at the underlined words. These words need to be fixed. Look at the striked words and erase them.

[1] Because I can Definitely conquer all droon ~~place~~ and be famous.
[2] I don't understand. What do you mean when you say "roll over the path"?
[3] "...give a boost at me because they are happy." Change to "...give me a boost because they are happy."
[4] Why do you want to make a narrow path?
[5] "I can make a narrow path, ether." Change the word 'either' to "too"

If you want to fix your msitakes you can wirte a new post.

» 3. Across the Bridge