Unit 1 Media

　I want to answer 'it is the Internet.' about 'what is the best source of news?'. The Internet news is fast, we can debate and we can connect the Internet easily. we can see these virtue of Internet through a demonstration with candle.
　First of all, virtue of Internet is speed. The Internet news don't have to print and transport. News writers just write and post their articles. Before the demonstration occurred, Internet user could know president's policies and its influence in a short time. Writers just wrote policies and interview contents and post it!
　But most people didn't believe some interview contents as a usual. It was about American cow like mad cow disease and radial sterilization. People just thought it was rumor. but writers warned about it constantly. finally, people gathered a community and they studied about America cow. They found some possibilities of its danger. This is why I recommend the Internet news. On the Internet, people can debate and maintain their opinion. Users don't accept the articles, having no doubts. These work also makes presses clear.
　The demonstration occurred, there was lots of people in front of City hall. The participants were various. There were students, officers and house wives. Most of these people said they participate in the demonstration after reading Internet news and debating writings. This is third virtue of Internet news, its easy access routes. In Korea the Internet user is over 97%. and we can find PC room everywhere. Some cell phones even bring important news. We can read Internet news easily!
　Todays society is democratic and Information Age. I think only the Internet can go well with todays society. The Internet news still have some problems. but the Internet news service was made by only few years ago. They having been improved. we have to improve the Internet news by its speed, easy access routes, debating services.

Hyeon-Ji wrote:

　I want to answer 'it is the Internet.' about 'what is the best source of news?'. The Internet news is fast, we can debate and we can connect the Internet easily. we can see these virtue of Internet through a demonstration with candle.
　First of all, virtue of Internet is speed. The Internet news don't have to print and transport. News writers just write and post their articles. Before the demonstration occurred, Internet user could know president's policies and its influence in a short time. Writers just wrote policies and interview contents and post it!
　But most people didn't believe some interview contents as a usual. It was about American cow like mad cow disease and radial sterilization. People just thought it was rumor. but writers warned about it constantly. finally, people gathered a community and they studied about America cow. They found some possibilities of its danger. This is why I recommend the Internet news. On the Internet, people can debate and maintain their opinion. Users don't accept the articles, having no doubts. These work also makes presses clear.
　The demonstration occurred, there was lots of people in front of City hall. The participants were various. There were students, officers and house wives. Most of these people said they participate in the demonstration after reading Internet news and debating writings. This is third virtue of Internet news, its easy access routes. In Korea the Internet user is over 97%. and we can find PC room everywhere. Some cell phones even bring important news. We can read Internet news easily!
　Todays society is democratic and Information Age. I think only the Internet can go well with todays society. The Internet news still have some problems. but the Internet news service was made by only few years ago. They having been improved. we have to improve the Internet news by its speed, easy access routes, debating services.

Introduction:
You need to strengthen your introduction. It lacks enthusiasm/interest. Remember the role of the introduction is two folds:
1. To introduce the topic and your position
2. To attract readership
You might also want to look at explaining your last sentence.

Bady paragraphs:
*The first paragraph has a good topic sentence. Boasting about the speed is a very good idea. You may want to look at demonstrating why knowing about the news instantly/rapidly is a benefit.
*The second paragraph is excellent. I like the way you start with your example in order to present your topic sentence. Well done!
*Again, I like the way you went about presenting your topic sentences. However, you need to clarify your example. What demonstration? Where? You might want to point that this was news happening at the moment and the Internet being of such easy access made the event bigger by the minute.

Conclusion:
I like your conclusion. It is simple and to the point. Good!

You need to take a closer look at your verb mode/tense agreement.