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l raise chimpazee. l am proud of my pet. He is good at exercise. Also he can make wonderful performance himself. He is kind to everyone. so many people told he is smart and genious. l think so, too. He can remember the number better than me. Therefore, Sometimes my pet open lock. So l changed my cashbox with metal. Because of my pet, all of my village people wants to raise chimpansee as a pet. l have never seen that genious pet before.
Next time , l'll take one more chimpanzee . The chimpanzee can be my pet's friend. Then he can be more active than before.

My old sneakers have been good friends. because I've been walking a long time with them. I've gone to school trips. and academy. But i think I have to buy new ones. Because my sneakers are very old I've walked with it for just half year. It looks old and dirts everywhere but my mom says I can use it more but my classmates bought new shoes for new school. so I think I have to get new ones!

Vacations are the best time of the year. First, we have the Summer Vacation. We go to the beach, watch baseball, Summer Olympics, and World Cup. Second we have the Winter Vacation. We ski, wathch Winter Olympics, and basketball. Last, on both vacations, I play games, travel, and play sports.

summer is the best time of the year, because we can eat ice-cream and we have summer vacations also in summer we can wear comfortable clothsDay is longer than night so we have bright sunshine till about 7pm

Winter is the best time of year. First, it is fun and intersting because there exists many speacial occasions.Winter has new years day and christmas that is accidently my birthday. Second, because I can have one more present on my birthday, I'm happy. I don't like to sweat because It's sticky, so I like cold weather. Finally, I can play with beautiful snow and I can make a snow man.

l raise the chimpazee. l am proud of my pet. He is a good athlete. Also he can make a wonderful performance with himself. He is kind to everyone. so many people told that he is smart and genious. l think so, too. He can remember the numbers better than me. Therefore, my pet sometimes opended the lock. l changed my lock with using metal key. Because of my pet, all the my of village want to raise chimpansee as a pet. l have never seen that genious pet before.
Next time , l'll raise one more chimpanzee . The chimpanzee can be my pet's friend. Then he can be more active than before.

l raise chimpazee. l am proud of my pet. He is a good athlete. Also he can make a wonderful performance with himself. He is kind to everyone. so many people told me that he is smart and very genious. l think so, too. He can remember numbers better than me. Therefore, my pet sometimes opended the lock. l changed my lock which made of metal . Because of my pet, all the people in my village want to raise a chimpansee as a pet. l have never seen the genious pet before.
Next time, l'll raise one more chimpanzee. The chimpanzee can be my pet's friend. Then he can be more active than before.

Vacations are the best time of the year. First, we have the summer vacation. We go to the beach, watch baseball, Summer Olympics, and World Cup. Second we have the Winter Vacation. We ski, watch Winter Olympics, and basketball. Last, on both vacations, I play games, travel, and play sports.

Winter is the best time of year. First, it is fun and intersting because there exists many special occasions.Winter has New Year's Day and Christmas that is accidently my birthday. Second, because I can have one more present on my birthday, I'm happy. I don't like to sweat because the sweat is sticky, so I like cold weather. Finally, I can play with beautiful snow and I can make a snow man.

Yoon-Ha wrote:

l raise chimpazee. l am proud of my pet. He is a good athlete. Also he can make a wonderful performance with himself. He is kind to everyone. so many people told me that he is smart and very genious. l think so, too. He can remember numbers better than me. Therefore, my pet sometimes opended the lock. l changed my lock which made of metal . Because of my pet, all the people in my village want to raise a chimpansee as a pet. l have never seen the genious pet before.
Next time, l'll raise one more chimpanzee. The chimpanzee can be my pet's friend. Then he can be more active than before.

Very good Yoon-Ha! I am happy with all the effort you put into trying to correct your mistakes. Below you'll find a final correct version of your work. Keep up the good work.

l raise a chimpazee. l am proud of my pet. He is a good athlete. Also he can make wonderful performances by himself. He is kind to everyone, so many people told me that he is smart and a genious. l think so, too. He can remember numbers better than I. Therefore, my pet sometimes opened the lock. l changed my lock with one made of metal. Because of my pet, all the people in my village want to raise a chimpansee as a pet. l have never seen such a genious pet before.
Next time, l'll raise one more chimpanzee. The chimpanzee can be my pet's friend. Then he can be more active than before.

summer is the best time of the year, because we can eat ice-cream and we have summer vacations [_and__] also in summer we can wear comfortable cloths Day is longer than night so we have bright sunshine till about 7pm [__._]

My old sneakers have been good friends because I've been walking a long time with them. I've gone to school trips and school. But I think I have to buy new ones. My sneakers are very old[.] I've walked with it for just half [an] year. It look old and dirt everywhere but my mom says I can use them more[.] Our classmates bought new shoes for going to middle school. so I think I have to get new ones!

Summer is the best time of the year because we can eat ice-cream ,we have summer vacations and we can wear comfortable cloths.Finally day is longer then night so we have sunshine till 7pm